


Ember to Crimson

by Grubby_Puppy



Category: She-Ra and the Princesses of Power (2018)
Genre: AU But there is still Magic, Anger, Crushes, Demons, F/F, Guilt, Jealousy, Possible smut near end (?), Self Confidence Issues, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Violence, catradora, creature - Freeform, fear of intimacy, hit of trauma
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2020-06-30
Updated: 2020-12-23
Packaged: 2021-03-05 01:01:35
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 8
Words: 13,784
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/25005841
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Grubby_Puppy/pseuds/Grubby_Puppy
Summary: "Everyone has demons."Adora argues as if it were a regular occurrence for them to come to life."Most people's demons are metaphorical. Not literal manifestations in the flesh!"Lonnie rebuts.---Catra thinks her feelings are one sided and becomes jealous. She keeps almost everything she feels a secret because she (and Adora) was taught her feelings make her weak. Adora hides her feelings, not aware exactly what she was feeling. What happens if facing your demons, literally means having to fight your demons face to face? What happens after you hurt someone close to you?
Relationships: Adora & Catra (She-Ra), Adora & Glimmer (She-Ra), Adora/Catra (She-Ra)
Comments: 15
Kudos: 74





	1. Fracture (pt.1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> I am a stranger in my own skin.

Catra presses her palm into the trunk of an evergreen watching Adora swing her head back with laughter. Catra swallows extra oxygen as Adora spins on her heels and Catra can’t help the smile playing across her lips. 

“This place is amazing.” Adora gawks as she walks closer to Catra who straightens her poster, her hand still bracing herself against the sappy bark. 

“I told you…” Catra begins as she places one hand against her hips.

“Fightzone ain’t nothing in comparison.”Catra speaks through a smug expression and Adora purses her lips, a failed attempt to restrain the laughter that bubbles over. 

“You have a slug on your arm.”Adora giggles and points at the creature nestled in the crease of Catra’s arm. Catra’s eyes widen as she looks down at the creature.

“Ah gross.” Catra grumbles as she flicks it off her skin and rubs the dirty slime off with her hand. Catra shoots Adora a toothy grin as she shakes her finger at her.

“It was a snail, not a slug.” Catra corrects as she looks down at her sticky fingers. 

“Same thing.” Adora scoffs as she crosses her arms with a small pout. Catra lunges forward her hand reaching out towards Adora who yells as she dodges the goopy attack. 

“What’s wrong?” Carta chuckles, exposing her large fangs as she puts her hand in front of herself, directed at Adora who keeps a safe distance. 

“You think I want slug poo all over me? Uhg! Hard pass.” Adora gagged as she shivered at the thought, her eyes closed tightly for a brief second. 

“Actually…” Catra’s voice is suddenly in her ears and she jolts, but Catra is faster as her clean hand grabs Adora’s shoulder.

“It’s snail mucus.” Catra whispers into Adora’s ear, causing her to shutter and slap Catra’s hand away.

“That doesn’t make it better!” Adora protests and Catra snickers at her partner. 

“Alright, alright. There’s a pond this way…” Catra truces with her hands up in defense. She turns to her left as she gestures for Adora to follow. 

“I’ll get this junk off of me.” Catra announces as she grimaces at the grey substance and holds up the vines in Adora’s path. They soon reach the body of water and Catra crouches down on her haunches and stretches her hand out to the clear water but she stops. Analyzing her clean skin in confusion and Adora steps to her side, lowering herself to the same level. 

“That’s weird…” Catra’s voice is muffled through her teeth and Adora cocks her head.

“It’s gone…” Adora finishes Catra’s sentence for her. Catra bobs her head up and down in response and puts both her hands on her thighs and stands. Catra ignores the uncertainty nagging in the bakc of her head.

“C’ mon.” Catra offers her hand to Adora who gladly takes it. 

“Better start heading back before people start to talk.” Catra continues as Adora rises to her feet, Adora’s hand slides in Catra’s hand to intertwine their fingers.

“Yeah…” Adora sighs as she holds Catra’s hand a bit tighter as they navigate their way through the trees. 

\--------------------------------

When they reach the complex, Catra holds the door as it swings shut in an attempt to dim the sound, yet the pair gain attention regardless. 

“Been a while, welcome back.” Lonnie throws over her shoulder from the couch her and the other two sat, the television playing in the background. 

“I was starting to worry, it’s really late...this town gets weird at night.” Kyle shutters as his timid eyes look over the couch at the two of them.

“We’re fine, Kyle.” Catra scoffs as she walks toward her room to clean up. 

“Thanks for checking in.” Adora shoots the trio a wide smile as she waves and follows behind Catra. 

Adora places herself on the edge of the bed and Catra stands herself in front of their shared dresser (Catra uses the top two draws and Adora uses the bottom two). Catra leaves the bedroom door half open as she pulls her worn shirt over her head. Adora looks around the room, wanting to be respectful but her eyes seem to land on Catra everytime. Adora wrings her clammy hands in her lap as Catra discards her pants. Now standing exposed in her boyshorts and sports bar. 

Adora squeezes her legs together as her heart explodes in her cheek. She quickly averts her curious eyes when Catra turns around. Adora pretends to be fixated on her hands as Catra strides past her and Adora waits until their bathroom door shuts with a soft click before she releases a breath she didn’t know she was holding. 

Adora runs her fingers through her hair as she twists her body double checking the bathroom door is shut. Adora turns back around and kicks the door shut before she strips from her dirty clothes into a pair of grey joggers and white t-shirt with red sleeves. Adora tosses herself to the sheets, her back against the mattress as she folds her hands over her stomach and her eyes travel across the ceiling. 

One of Adora hands glides up to grasp the material over her heart. Adora screws her eyes shut as she feels her heart pound against her chest. Adora focuses on her breath, bringing it to a steady pace, hoping it would help with the manic butterflies in her chest. Adora is lost in her head not realizing Catra had exited the bathroom until her voice burst Adora’s bubble.

"Bathroom's open." She announces

.  
Adora jolts and crunches herself to sit up, her eyes staring back at Catra who now wears a maroon t-shirt and balck joggers. Adora lashes flutter as she quickly shakes herself from her trance.

"Oh...yeah, thanks!" Adora squeaks as she shuffles her way to the bathroom. Catra rolls her eyes and sets herself on the edge of the bed.

Catra slides the towel over her shoulder. There are a few short moments of peace before a violent throbbing pierces the palm of her hand. Her heterochromatic eyes glaring down at her left palm as a dull ache seeps into her veins. Her other hand wraps around her wrist as she bares her teeth, the ache morphing into pins and needles. Her blue veins popped out becoming a darker color, almost black, the discomfort grew as she held back the urge to scream.

Her breathing becomes labored as her vision blurs and she chokes on the unwelcoming feeling spiking up her arm. Her figures mimicking a boa constrictor on her wrist as she hisses through her teeth. Her senses are overcome with agony and her hand flexs harshly causing the tendons to pop to the surface. The pain boiling through her teeth as her opposite hand flew to her pounding head. Catra has no control over the shriek that rips from her lips.

The sounds rocked the room as her body collapsed into itself, tears came pouring down her cheeks, her brain feeling as if it were benign buried alive. Adora knocks down the door as she yells.

"Catra!?" Adora's voice goes unheard, her hair crazed and her clothes twisted on her body, as she desperately runs to Catra’s side. Adora’s legs move so fast she practically trips as she stumbles to the edge of the bed.

"Oh my God, what's happening?" Adora's voice is panicked as she watches Catra’s body twitch and her brows furrowed furiously. Adora’s hand reaches for Catra but never touches her, unsure of how Catra would react. Adora doesn’t have the courtesy to think before the trio comes bursting into the bedroom. 

"What's going on?" Lonnie demands as she and the other two enter the room, taking in the horrific site.

"I-I don't know." Adora's eyes frantically scan Catra's shivering figure.

"Her…her hand!" Kyle blurts as his shaking hand points at the black and purple veins. 

"Holy-"  
"Shit!"

Catra exclamation over rules Lonnie's as she throws her body back against the creaking mattress. The tears continue to burn down Catra’s face as sounds of anguish bleed from her mouth.

"What do we do?" Adora's ocean eyes fly to the trio, praying they have an answer. All of them look like deer in headlights.

"My head!" Catra's vocal cords strain as her figure tips dig into the side of her head. Adora's attention is instantly back on Catra, her heart sinking at the display.

"Her head?!" Kyle's eyes grow bigger yet Adora leaps onto the mattress throwing her legs underneath herself as she grabs Catra's hand to prevent her claws from breaking her skin.

"Catra, hey...what's going on?" Adora's voice is brittle under the pressure as her mind draws a blank; her worried eyes look at Catra's crumpled expression. 

"Cut my hand off!" Catra yells as a cold sweat breaks across her forehead. 

"What? No, I can't, it'll hurt you!" Adora practically scoffs at her statement the discomfort clearly displayed. 

"Just do I-AHH!" Catra's sentence is cut short as the pounding increases in her skull, her breathing becoming quicker until she can't open her eyes anymore and reality loses it signal. Adora’s panicked voice fading like a scream into a pillow until there was nothing left. Everything was black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Made some adjustments, open to criticism  
> Thanks for reading!


	2. Fracture (pt. 2)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> There is a pounding in my head and a million things to dread. I walk a fine line and tell fine lies. My heart pounds out my chest, I only want the best for you. You conquer all my thoughts, I would caught the stars for you. But it's not because I like you, know that too.

Catra’s eyes peels open, her eyes rolling over the room in confusion, the bright pink wall making her head throb. The tapping against her skull was less painful than before, as her eyes slowly adjusted. Her eyes focus on a glass of water and a dose of painkillers lay on the nightstand next to her. Catra stares at them before someone says her name.

“Catra.” A voice comes from the opposite side and she hurls her body to the other side, quickly relaxing as she recognizes the person who sat beside her. Adora sits with her knees tucked under her, her eye wide and uncertain.

“Good, you’re awake.” Adora exhales as she rests her heavy head against the mattress from where she sits. Catra ignores her puppy dog eye, even though they pull vigorously against her heart strings.

“What happened?” Catra’s words are gritty as she flexes her hand subconsciously, feeling her sore tendons.

“I heard you scream from the bathroom, you were yelling and saying you're hand hurt and you're head too...I've never seen you like that…" Adora swallows her building emotions and looks away as her vision blurred.

"It was really scary." Adora admits, fighting the wires around her throat. Catra is frozen for a second before she reaches for Adora, her knuckles softly stroking the side of Adora’s face.

"Hey, Adora…" Catra’s voice cracks as Adora leans into her touch, closing her sky blue eyes shortly as a few tears roll down her cheeks.

"It's ok now...don't worry…" Catra wishes she could find the right words, her heart breaking as Adora focuses on controlling her breathing.

"It's ok to cry." Catra reassures as she brings her other hand to Adora’s face and gently runs her thumb under Adora’s eyes to banish the tears.

"C’mere.” Catra requests as she shuffles over, making room for her partner on the queen size bed. Adora carefully crawls up and drapes her arms around Catra’s waist. Her shoulders shuttering with her jagged breaths. Catra leans her head down on the top of Adora's head, holding Adora close as her diamond tears soak her shirt, the same one she remembers wearing before she blacked out. 

“Does this hurt?” Adora’s voice is timid as her shimmering eyes look up at Catra who gives her a soft smile.

“Not in the slightest.” Catra confirms as her arm holds Adora tighter. Adora sighs in relief as she returns the affection.

“Good.” Her voice is barely heard as a comfortable silence covers the both of them as they lay peacefully. Catra brings her hand to the back of Adora’s neck, running her nails lightly under Adora’s ponytail. Adora’s head falls to Catra’s chest listening to the steady heart beat under her ear. Catra’s wandering eyes take in the familiar setting of their bedroom. Catra brings her attention back to Adora, wondering what it is Adora sees in her.

Catra takes a long breath to test her stability, the air moves in and out of her lungs freely. Catra is still weary as she moves her hand to Adora’s side. Catra’s eyebrows furrow as she looks down at her hand and she flexes it, prepared for agonizing pain but nothing happens. Catra tightens her grip again and Adora responds by moving closer and Catra’s face heats up with the affection. She figures it’s best not to question a positive outcome. 

Though there is little time to relish the peace before the door is knocked down and three other figures enter the room, stumbling to the edge of the bed. Catra’s eyes shoot up at the group as Adora flinches creating an unwanted distance between her and Catra. 

“Yo, are you good?” Lonnie asks as the other two gape at Catra, awaiting a reaction. 

“Yeah, I’m fine.” Catra tells the truth, though even she struggles to believe it. 

“How long was I...out?” Catra’s words are awkward but her intention comes across clearly and Lonnie puts a hand on her hip as her eyes scatters the ceiling as she recalls the incident. 

“A few hours, and surprisingly enough, there were no complications done to your health, there is only minimal trauma on your wrist. Just some bruising, there are pills to help with inflammation, you should be fine otherwise.” Lonnie explains as she points to the water and pills on the nightstand. Catra sighs as her eyes search the room as if the walls would tell her answers to questions she couldn’t properly from. Catra brings a hand up to run it through her hair and shakes her head with a bitter snicker as she moves her thoughts to the back of her head.

“Well, that was a kick.” Catra jokes, mostly to distract herself from the overwhelming amount of thoughts. Lonnie chuckles, mostly out of confusion as she rubs the back of her neck. She briefly looks at Kyle and Rogelio and then back at Catra.

“Well, glad you’re good. That was hella weird.” Lonnie says as she lifts her arms to stretch her back. 

“Yell if you need something, it’s like two in the morning.” Lonnie tells Catra and Adora as she and the group turn to the door.

“Goodnight, you two.” Lonnie says with a small salute and Kyle waves with a crooked smile.

“You should sleep. Don’t you have class tomorrow?” Catra tells Adora who shrugs. 

“Yeah. I will only do it if you join me.” Adora states, still stubborn and Catra chuckles.

“Adora, we’re already in bed.” Catra gestures to the mattress they both laid on and Adora smiles as she lifts the blanket for the two of them.

“Touche.” Adora grumbles as she watches carefully as Catra pulls the blanket over her shoulder. Catra was not the only one who was weary of her seeming well condition. Adora follows her lead to get comfortable under the covers. They’re both on their sides, facing each other and Adora reaches out to place a hand on Catra’s shoulder and runs her thumb along her skin a few times. Catra is unfamiliar with the extra affection but enjoys it non the less. 

“Goodnight, Catra.” Adora’s voice flutters through Catra’s ears like a lullaby and Catra gives her a tender smile. 

“Goodnight, Adora.” Catra says and Adora turns onto her stomach and closes her eyes, her hand no longer on Catra’s arm. Catra feels her face flush a light red as she lifts her own hand to ghost where Adora’s was before she closes her eyes and reality becomes faded as she drifts into her strange dreams.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Let me know what you think  
> Thanks for reading!


	3. Something Dark Inside

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Hello Glimmer, what are you doing here?

Catra is the first to wake, her eyes still feeling dry and heavy. The sun was already burning through the curtains and Catra checked the time. Adora's alarm hadn't gone off yet, which meant it was too early to be awake. It was a quarter until seven, and Adora would wake up soon to get ready for class. Catra glances over at Adora who sleeps peacefully, and Catra smiles gently before she exits the bedroom and heads to the kitchen.

Catra starts the coffee making enough for only two people. Catra watches the pot fill, the comforting smell surrounding her. It reminds her of when she first met Adora. Every time Catra would come over to Adora's house, her parents would make coffee, even though it was late in the afternoon.

Catra pours herself a cup and places herself on the kitchen counter, waiting for Adora to join her. Her hand shakes slightly as she lifts it to her mouth. Catra grimaces as she lowers the cup back to the counter. The dull pain from her bruised wrist throbbing. 

She starts to wonder if she’ll ever get a moment of peace.

Catra’s ears flick as the kitchen's floorboards creak, Catra’s eyes move to where the sound emitted. Adora walks to the counter and stretches as she retrieves a coffee mug for herself, what a site for sore eyes. 

“You’re up early.” Adora talks as she prepares her cup (putting in an excessive amount of sugar). Catra waits for Adora to turn around before she shrugs and takes a sip of her drink. Adora walks over to set helf on the chair next to Catra. “I’m going to Menchie’s after class. Do you want anything?” Adora starts conversation and Catra thinks for a minute. 

“I’m good, but thanks.” Catra responds and Adora hums in acknowledgement as she sets her coffee down before she hops off the chair. Catra hides her disappointment as she takes another drink, the domestic sounds of Adora rummage through the pantry was comforting.

“Ok, text me if you change your mind.” Adora’s voice is muffled as she sticks a granola bar between her teeth. Adora throws her supplies into her bag and speed walks back over to Catra who looks over at her. “See you later.” Adora’s words rush out of her mouth as she lifts a hand to give Catra a side hug. Catra doesn’t have time to lean into the affection before Adora scrambles out the door. Catra lazily waves at the shutting door. 

“See ya.” Her voice is barely audible. Catra smiles softly to herself as she throws her cup into the sink. Adora lingered in her mind as she flexed her hand, her mind wondering what remedies there were to help with the pain. She found it peculiar it started after the forest incident.

Catra gabs her laptop from the table next to the couch and pens a new tab. She types in ‘sharp pain in wrist causes headaches’, even though her roommates have warned her searching symptoms will ultimately tell her she has a life threatening disease. Regardless, it was a start to resolve her new issue. Catra clicks through websites, unsatisfied with each result until she stumbles upon an old vintage looking book. 

Catra narrows her eyes as she clicks on it reading the description and her eyes widen as she smiles, showing her teeth. 

“Yes.” Catra celebrates herself as she taps her claw on the screen. She checks on the availability and there is only one left. Catra quickly puts it on hold and shuts her laptop and sprints to prepare herself for the public.   
\-------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

As class comes to an end the professor makes an announcement to the class as she clicks to the next slide.

“For the following project you will choose a partner or a group of three to collaborate with.”   
She begins as she points a laser pointer to the slide that displays a description. “It will be due two weeks from today, good day class.” She quickly wraps up and exits the room. Adora reluctantly shuts her lap top and secures it back into her bag. 

“C’mon, Adora.” Glimmer begins as she bumps Adora’s shoulder. “It’s not too bad. I mean we could be doing research on how- I don’t know- how spiders give birth.” Glimmer waves her hands in the air and Adora’s face twists in disgust.

“How spiders give birth?” Adora words are sharp and Glimmer laughs realizing how strange it sounded. 

“Point is, it could have been something really gross. But this project is actually useful, it can help us learn more about professonal writing. I would say it’s pretty good for an LAC class.” Glimmer clairfies and Adora nods her head as they exit the building. 

“That’s fair.” Adora agress and Glimmer is about to depart when adora stops her. “You want to come over and work on the project?” Adora suggests (she had known Glimmer for about two weeks now) and Glimmer bounces her shoulders up and down with a nod. 

“Sure, it would make it easier.” Glimmer responds and Adora takes her phone out. 

“Let me text Catra real quick.” Adora tells Glimmer who gaps at the name. 

“Oh Catra, I think I know her. Is she kinda short with dark brown hair and freckles?” Glimmer comments and Adora sends the message. Adora quirks an eyebrow, Catra does have pretty cute frekles.

“Yeah, she’s my friend-uhm-roommate person. How do you know her?” Adora talks as they begin to walk to the apartment complex. Glimmer laughs bitterly as she rubs the back of her neck. 

“It was a long time ago, we were in middle school. I went on a field trip and her class shared a bus with mine. Everyone was really mean to her. Everyone was nice to me because they knew who my mom was and Catra was not happy about that. I tried to talk to her but she kept pushing me away.” Glimmer explains and Adora shoulders sag at the story. “Anyway, it was a long time ago, I’m sure she’s better now.” Glimmer brushed the tension off and Adora frown deepened as her eyebrows creased together. 

“Catra never told me about that.” Adora murmurs and Glimmer puts her hand on her shoulder. 

“She probably forgot about it, like I said we were little. Besides, being bullied is not a particularly pleasant thing to reminisce on.” Glimmer adds on and Adora nods as she tugs on the straps of her back pack. 

“I guess not. You’re probably right, it’s just…” Adora let out a gusty exhale as they turned the corner, the apartment complex now insite. Adora loses her sentence as her thoughts come crashing in. 

“Just what?” Glimmer raises her eyebrows and Adora shakes her head and purses her lips, wishing she could crush her never between her teeth. Adora stops in her tracks and turns on her heels to face Glimmer. Glimmer comes to an abrupt halt, her eyes wide. 

“Catra and I have known each other for a long time. She doesn’t like to talk about her feelings very often, or really at all...I just worry about her sometimes, y’know?” Adora bounces nervously on the balls of her feet as Glimmer looks back at her for a few seconds.

“I understand. My mom was a private person too, it just takes time for people like that to learn how to say what they feel. Even if it’s frustrating.” Glimmer tells Adora with a sorrowful chuckle. Adora cracks a sympathetic smile. 

“Right. Patience is a virtue.” Adora says as she turns back to head to the apartment door. Adora and Glimmer enter into the living room and Adora locks the door. “Catra’s probably in our room, I’ll introduce her to you.” Adora offers as she kicks off her shoes and Glimmer does the same before following Adora’s lead. Adora knocks softly on the door and says Catra’s name before entering. 

“Hey, Catra.” Adora greets as the two of them enter the room. 

Catra lays on her stomach with a pen between her teeth as she soaks in the ink on the pages in front of her. Her ears perk at the creaking of the door hinges caught her attention, her tail flicking in anticipation as she looked over her shoulder with a smirk.

“Hey Ador-huh?” Catra’s greeting is cut short as she realizes Adora has company. That is the last thing she wanted today.

“Oh, this is Glimmer.” Adora introduces as Catra flops over to sit against the headboard. Glimmer gives a broad smile as she waves, and Catra folds her arms across her heart.

“Who?” Catra’s tone is dull, and Adora rubs the back of her neck. 

“This is my friend Glimmer, we have English together. I thought I texted you.” Adora mentions and Catra reaches for her phone on the nightstand, checking her notifications.

“Guess so, haven’t looked at it all day.” Catra speaks as she shoves the device into her back pocket as she stands to her feet and gathers the rest of her belongings.

“Is that a new series?” Adora comments as she points to the book in attempts to spark conversation but it is in vain. 

“Text me when you’re done.” Catra throws into the distance as she walks past the pair, disappearing into the kitchen. 

“She was...Interesting.” Glimmer comments as she looks at Adora who stares out the door.

“Sorry…” Adora mumbles as she turns her attention back to her friend. “She’s not usually like that.” Adora’s blue eyes search Glimmers purple ones.

“I get it, it’s nothing to worry about.” Glimmer gives a shrug but Adora isn’t convinced yet. “Really Adora, it’s ok.” Glimmer places her hands against Adora’s tense shoulders. 

“Ok...You’re right…” Adora sighs and walks to the bed, placing herself on the edge, and Glimer follows her shortly after. Adora reaches under the bed to retrieve her laptop and swiftly opens it.  
“Besides we have a project to finish.” Adora announces as she opens the flies. 

“I’m glad we got to choose our partners this time around.” Glimmer begins as Adora scrolls through the presentation. 

“I didn’t know we still did group projects in college, but glad I get to work with you.” Adora explains and Glimmer bobs her head up and down in agreement. 

“He’s a TA, he might not do this in the future.” Glimmer points out and Adora taps her chin as she thinks. 

“You have a point.” Adora adds as she furrows her brows and turns her body more towards Glimmer. Adora’s mind begins to wander again as she unitnentaly stares at Glimmer who has busied herself and edits one of the slides. Glimmer’s eyes stay on the screen as she turns her head slightly. 

“What?” She says as her eyes meet Adora’s. Adora blinks rapidly, her mind coming back to reality.

“Oh sorry. Was I staring?” Adora genuinely asks and Glimmer laughs. 

“Yeah, not very subtle.” Glimmer states and Adora shakes her head with a playful eye roll. Adora shuffles around a bit as she types on her keyboard. Her mind refused to cooperate with her, and she huffs as she gives into her astray thoughts.

“I was just thinking, if you don’t mind me asking, you don’t have to answer of course.” Adora fumbles awkwardly as she runs her fingertips lightly over the keyboard. “Being patient is very...difficult...especially 'cause I-” Adora talks with her hands as she looks over at Glimmer. “I care about Catra. How do I ask her to talk to me?” Adora rests her hands over her heart and Glimmer thinks for a moment. 

“That’s a hard question. I would say if she seems upset just ask her what’s wrong. Don’t force it though, just go with the flow, I guess.” Glimmer advises with a shrug and Adora nods her head, saving the information for later. 

“Ok, noted. Yes.” Adora cracks her knuckles and sets her head in the game. “Now, let’s get this project going.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for reading!  
> Let me know what you think


	4. I'm Always Gunna be Your Friend

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes I wish I could hide from myself.   
> This is where some of the violence is

Catra presses her finger into the screen on the Order Now button, hoping Adora would be done when it arrives. She growls as she throws her phone and book onto the table as she waits for her pick up order. 

“Glimmer.” Catra scoffs as she rests her chin against her palm. The anger simmering in her chest. “Who would have thunk, huh? Her out of all people.” Catra’s fingers tapped against the wood as she grumbles to herself, her past self resentful for how she was treated. Everyone loved GLimmer, she was bubbly, smart, and got along with everyone. 

Catra was rough, and tried to smile but everyone would run, they would say she was a monster and Catra got angry, then she got in trouble. Glimmer was destined to be a success, her mother was a world famous author, she wrote children's books and in class GLimmer would bring books and share them to the class. 

None of the kids shared anything with Catra. She fingered it was best she did the same. No one wanted her then, how could someone want her now.

Catra knew deep down, even when they were younger that Adora would find someone else. Glimmer was always bubbly, even after her mother had passed away. Glimmer reached out to Catra, trying to empathize with her but Catra fingered it was a pity game and pushed her away. Glimmer was forgiving. Adora liked that about her, she would tell Catra about how Glimmer was positive and hard working. 

Catra could be those things too, she is not ten anymore. SHe could be like Glimmer.

“Really? Out of all the universities, all the classes, everything. Why didn’t she follow her mom and go to Brightmoon University?” Catra bears her teeth as her name is called and she grabs her drink, retrieving to the back of the room. “Out of all the people, it had to be her.” Catra growls in resentment as she dramatically drops herself onto the cushioned chair. 

“Whatever.” Catra breathes as she opens her notebook, analyzing the drawing she had started earlier. “I have better things to do. Besides, Adora will see...she won’t leave me for her.”  
Catra tries to convince herself as she rolls her eyes and draws arrows along the drawing and writes a few notes. Catra pauses for a moment, her jaw locking as a spike of pain shoots up her arm and into her brain. 

How can you be so sure?

Catra presses her fist to the side of her head wishing she could crush the voice inside.

Adora has found someone better.

Catra screws her eyes shut desperately focusing on keeping her breath steady as another bullet of pain rams up her arm into her brain. Her teeth grinding with such force she swore she could taste the color crimson.

You really think Adora would choose you? You’re broken, just like mother said. 

Catra’s hand presses hard onto her skull as her pencil snaps into her other, but her thoughts and pounding in her head are powerful. 

You’ll never be good enough.

The words sink to Catra’s heart as needles prick the side of her eyes. Gunshots continue to attack her arm and mind as Catra desperately tries to stay quiet, frozen and consumed by the agony. Catra screws her eyes shut as she bits her lip at pain increasing as she starts to shake and the world has disappeared. 

Catra mamanges to focus on moving her legs as she wobbles with a hunched back to the door. She pries it open and closes it quickly as she lets out a struggling grunt, the squirming voices in her head begin to decrease like a ghost as she opens her eyes. Catra’s eyes peer down her hand that has now turned the color of ashes after a fire. Catra exclaims at the site but quickly covers her mouth as her natural color begins to seep back into her hand. 

“What the fuck?”

Catra’s words spill through her fingers, her mind running with a new set of thoughts now. The headache begins to dissipate as Catra rolls her hand over to look at her palm and the inside of her wrist, which is still a bruised. 

“What the fuck?”

Catra repates, thankful the pain has subsided but still lacked answer to what is happening to her body. Catra’s flatlined eyes stare at her arm as she flexes her hand, effortlessly. Catra growls as she steps back into the apartment and grabs her keys, wallet and phone. She pushes the incident to the back of her mind. The drive seems to be everlasting before Catra arrives at her destination. She is greeted as the employees hands her her order; she clutches the bag of food, staring at how her hand grabs the handles.

“You ok, ma’am?” A young voice breaks Catra’s buble and Catra desperately gathers any composer left in her consciousness as she replies.

“I’m great.” Catra speaks through a toothy grin (god, she always hated her smile) as she reaches into her back pocket and hands them the payment for the food. The other looks at her, their hand hovering as they take the payment. Catra doesn’t want to explain anything to anyone, escapilly a stranger, they sure as hell wouldn’t understand. 

“Keep the change.” Catra says and rapidly exits the building. Catra tosses the food onto the center council and she feels her clammy hand grip the steering wheel. Catra’s heart is in her ears and her mind is fuzzy, and her eyes a hazey; before she can think too hard, there is a vibration from under the bag of food. Catra fusses as she grabs her phone, presented with a message on the screen.

Adora (19:30): We’re almost finished, by the way.  
Catra (19:32): Copy.  
Adora (19:35): You’ll be back soon, yeah?

A smug smirk played along Catra’s lips as she read the message. The words partly filling the fault inside her chest. 

Catra (19:38): Be there soon.

Catra allows herself to feel a sliver of pride, Adora has a magical effect on her heart and mind like no other. Catra focused on her breathing before she began to drive back to the apartment complex. Catra exits the car and pink and purple bleed into the sky as the day sinks into night. Catra arrives at the door and fumbles with the keys as she feels the chill of dusk roll over her skin. 

The door swings open and Catra is met with a pair of purple eyes. Not what she had expected. 

“Oh sorry.” Glimmer speaks through a smile as she shuffles past Catra. “Have a good night.” Glimmer calls over her shoulder and Catra stands still as she watches her disappear in the distance. Catra scoffs as she pushes the door back open and enters their section of the building with her heterochromatic eyes in search of Adora. 

“You're still in our room, Adora?” Catra called out as she sets her belongings onto the island. 

“I’m right here.” Adora stretched her arms above the lip of the couch with a wave and Catra walked over and placed herself in the empty space next to Adora. 

“Good to see you again.” Adora says as she crosses her arms and Cara’s heart drops slightly at the gesture. SHe doesn’t’ let it show she keeps her chest wide with fabricated pride

“Is that so?” Catra is playful giving a crooked smile and Adora nods shortly but her features are rough. 

"What are you reading?" Adora points at the tattered cover that sits between the two of them. Catra's eyes follow Adora and she turns the cover so Adora is able to read it properly.

"Just an old thing, I was curious." Catra explains and then sets the book down, covering it with her hands. Adora clenches her jaw before responding.

"Why did you act that way?" Adora pops the question and Catra raises her eyebrows, cocking her head.

"What are you talking about?" Catra genuinely asks and Adora furrows her brows, her eyes darting through Catra's being.

"Before you left, you have never acted like that before. It was like you already hated her and you don't even know her." Adora addresses and Catra shakes her head.

"I don't hate her. I just wanted to read this book, it had nothing to do with sparkles." Catra tells part of the truth as she gestures to the cover and Adora is the one to shake her head.

"Her name is Glimmer, and maybe you don't hate her but you certainly were not very welcoming when she came over." Adora points out and Catra sighs heavily with a roll of her eyes.

"Whatever her name is, I treated her like everyone else. Do I seem like a bubbly people pleaser to you?" Catra's voice became more rough, there was something inside and it was taking control.

"Catra, I don't want to fight. It just seemed like you were...I don't know a little different earlier."   
Adora explains as she unfolds her arms and Catra's grinds her teeth.

"It's nothing, ok? There is no problem, I don't hate anyone. The end!" Catra barks and Adora backs away, her back to the armrest of the couch. Catra didn’t know it was possible to ahte herself more, but this moment proved her wrong.

"Ok." Adora squeaks as she puts her hands up in defence, and shifts to face the television.  
"Ok…" 

Adora pulls her legs up, her knees against her chest as she stares forward, not truly paying attention to the lights on the screen. Catra’s features untangle, noticing how small Adora seems in this moment and the guilt begins to sink into her chest. 

“I’m…” Catra reaches for Adora, her hand stopping as Adora looks over. “I’m sorry.”  
Catra apologizes as her hand recoils and she averts her eyes to the ground. 

Why did I do that? Stupid. Stupid. STUPID.

“I didn’t mean to yell.” Catra says as she wraps her arms around herself and Adora gives her a small smile. FOr once, Catra wanted Adora to be angry, really angry and give her a taste of her own medicine. But alsa, Adora doesn't think twice before she forgives her.

“That’s ok, I know you didn’t mean it.” Adora was honest and Catra hated herself for letting her feelings get the better of her...again. 

“Uhm...well, I got us some food, whenever you want it.” Catra speaks as she rests one arm against the couch and picks at her loose strings. 

“Thanks, I’ll have some later.” Adora’s eyes stay fixated on the screen, Catra briefly looks at the screen.

Adora doesn't even like this show.

The words run through Catra’s mind but she ignores them, shifting her focus back to the strings. Everything was a whirlwind of emotions inside of her mind, and her chest.

“I’ll eat with you.” The words spill out of Catra's mouth as she swipes the book from the cushions, she doesn't look when she sees Adora’s head turn in her peripheral. She didn’t want to think about the possibility of her saying ‘no’.

“Sounds...good. Yeah, that’s good.” Adora’s voice perks and Catra knows she is smiling at her. 

“Good.” Catra’s voice cracks as she fights the turning of her own lips.

You'll never be good enough. Incompetent, all you do is hurt people.

The voice is back to taunt her as her hand begins to cramp and Catra grinds her teeth. Catra shakes her head as she tries to massage the anger with her other hand. 

No, not now. No, no, n-

Catra bites back a hiss of pain as she feels the arrows in her temple. Catra tires to maintain control, she tries to tell her body to run but it doesn't comply. 

All you are is an inconvenience.

Catra moves her eyes to the screen, attempting to distract her senses, the images are a blurr and it doesn’t help. Catra muscles tighten as the blades sink deeper, despite her efforts a grunt escapes her lips. Catra screws her eyes shut, hoping Adora wouldn’t notice, praying she could run. Adora briefly looks over from the side of her eye, but once she registers Catra's discomfort all her attention is on Catra. 

"Hey." Adora gaps as she crawls over to close the space and Catra becomes smaller as the distress grows. Catra wants to move away, Adora didn’t need this right now, Catra doesn't want this now. Why did it have to happen like this?

"What's wrong?” Adora presses but Catra can't hear her over the flooding thoughts, rough heartbeat, and overwhelming pain running through her vein. Adora reaches out, her hand touches Catra ridge shoulder. The sounds become more frequent as hot tears roll down Catra's cheeks.

You don't deserve her, you don't deserve anything. 

Catra lets out a wavering cry, unable to grasp a sense of stability. Adora continues to talk to her until her words are cut short,and her eyes fly to Catra's discolored hand. 

"Oh my God." Adora gasped. 

What's the purpose? Why-

"Catra." Adora's voice cracks as it enters Catra’s mind. "It's going to be ok." Adora's voice becomes more clear with each word and the headache dissipates at an agonizingly slow pace.

"Adora?" Her voice is raw and low and Adora's eyes widen at the response.

"Yeah, I'm here,Catra." Adora wraps her arms around Catra's securely. Catra begins to feel control over her hand again, the pain throbbing in her wrist. Catra tries to form words that come out as a pathetic whimper as she sways her body, her mind still hazy.

"I'm not going anywhere." Adora pauses as she holds Catra's tighter.

"I promise."

Adora coos, washing the torment away, felt like hours before Catra's shoulder slump. Catra eyes open and she watches, still an awe as the color is regenerated. Catra cautiously raises a hand to touch the round that is wrapped around her. 

“I’m ok.” Catra speaks as her thumb strokes Adora's arms that hold her tightly. 

“What happened?” Adora whispers as she places a hand on the back of Catra’s head, cradling her gently. 

“I don’t know.” Catra admits as she feels Adora’s hands softly thread through her hair. “Thank you for helping me.” Catra says she leans into Adora. SHe isn’t allowed to enjoy the affection yet, her mind refuses to let her.

“You don’t have to thank me. I’m your friend.” Adora’s words are slightly muffled as she turns her head into Catra’s shoulder. 

“I’m always going to be your friend.” Adora’s voice is close to Catra's ear and it makes her want to cry for a whole other reason. The words play on repeat, she wants to take this moment and burn it onto a CD, keep it somewhere safe where she can play it wherever she feels afraid, whenever she feels lonely and unwanted. 

“My friend.” The words come out subconsciously as Catra nuzzles closer, her body working against her mind. A friend. Catra pushes Adora away, a little too fast and their eyes meet again, a fire behind Catra’s orbs as she holds Adora’s shoulders.

“I’m your friend too.” Catra states and Adora smiles at her. 

“I know.” The words are simple yet hold a tremendous weight as they settle in Catra’s heart. Catra stands up and takes the bag from the counter. She sets it on the coffee table between the couch and the t.v.

“A treat, my friend.” Catra sya as she gestures at the offerings and Adora gladly takes it. 

My friend.

The words chase each other in Catra’s mind as they eat in peace.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks for Reading!  
> Let me know what you think


	5. Creatures in the Night (pt 1)

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Pray for me, prey for me  
> Pull the trigger, I am the gun  
> (Click, click, bang, bang)  
> \- Fever 333 'Prey for me/3'

Catra stretches as the morning sun gives her a rude awakening. Catra pushes herself up halfway, resting her spine on the headboard. Catra balls her hands and rubs the sleep from her eyes, a yawn creeps up on her as she stretches her back out. Catra lifts her arms up to deepen the stretch and as she brings them down half way, she freezes. 

A hand flops onto her thigh; Catra’s eyes fly to Adora’s limp hand that is laying half on top of Catra’s sleep shorts and half on her exposed skin. Catra’s face flushes red as Adora fusses in her sleep, curled on her side like a puppy. Her hand flexes gently against Catra’s leg, and Catra’s eyes jolted to Adora’s face, peacefully asleep as she lay on her side. Her dirty blonde hair sprawled against the soft pillow, the morning light casting orange and yellow light onto her skin. 

_Beautiful. ___

__

__Catra suddenly averts her eyes as Adora shifts and she begins to return to reality. Catra swallows her overstimulated heart, and rubs her eyes again, trying to seem less awake. Adora notices where her hand is placed and quickly recoils with a strange clearing of her unclogged throat._ _

__

__“Oh, sorry!” Adora stammers as she shifts to sit up and fixes her ruffled hair._ _

__

__“It’s ok.” Catra takes a glance at Adora whose cheeks are dusted pink like her own.“Morning.” Catra lazily greets._ _

__

__“G’morning.” Adora says back as she rocks her body side to side to crack her spine._ _

__

___I love waking up to you._ _ _

____ _ _

____Catra watches as Adora features shift, so effortlessly flawless. Catra stretches her hand against her legs and cracks her knuckles, then her neck, wanting this tranquil moment to last forever. Catra settles for a few moments and notices Adora has become still. Catra glaces over, catching Adora staring. Her eyes full of the stars, gazing up at Catra as if she built the universe. Catra is lost in her eyes, her flooding with ‘what if’s’ before Adora lips move._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____“Sorry, what was that?” Catra’s ears gyrate and Adora giggles._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____“I didn’t mean to stare.” Adora words are lighthearted and Catra shakes her head. “I was just...thinking…” Adora adds but doesn’t explain what she means as she kicks the blanket off and rolls off the mattress. Catra is stuck in place as her eyes watch Adora walk away._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____“You coming?” Adora throws over her shoulder and Catra jumps out of bed to follow her._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____\---  
“Hello.” Lonnies greets from the couch with a bowl of cereal in her lap. Catra jolts but quickly gathers her composer. _ _ _ _

____ _ _

____“Hello.” Catra quickly echos with Adora. Lonnie places her bowl on the table as she turns to drape her arms over the back of the couch and stretch one hand out to present a book to the two of them._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____“Is this your creepy book?” Lonnies asks as she sways to over the ede and Catra runs over to grab it, holding it possessively to her chest. Her back to Adora who watches in amusement._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____“Yes, this is my regular book.” Catra corrects and Adora stifles a chuckle. Adora walks over to Catra leaning her weight on Catra’s back (like a hug but her arms stay by her side) and Catra’s eyes widen and her heart skips a beat. Lonnies gives her a smug look and Adora wraps her arms gently around Catra, barely putting pressure on her._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____“I don’t know. Looks pretty creepy to me.” Adora drawls out, her voice still gritty with sleep and Catra squirms out of Adora's arms._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____“It’s old, that’s not the equivalent to creepy.” Catra wiggles her fingers in a ghostly manner and Adora smiles broadly at her, her tired eyes amused and she exchanges a suspicious look with Lonnie. Catra runs her free hand over her own shirt, feeling how clammy her palm is, her mind still thinks about how Adora held her._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____Catra scoffs mostly at herself as she strides to the coffee machine, Adora follows her, pleasantly surprised with a full pot. Catra places her hand on the small of Adora’s back, watching her reaction to her touch, though Adora was more focused on...other things._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____“Ladies first.” Catra speaks leaning into Adora’s space more, and her eyes quickly flick over to the couch and Lonnie has turned back around, uninterested in their activities. Catra decides to test the boundaries more, feeling bold this morning._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____“We’re both ladies, aren’t we?” Adora half jokes as she reaches for two coffee cups. Catra’s tail sways slowly back and forth and Adora raises an eyebrow at her. Catra takes the mug from Adora’s hand purposely running her finger along her hand in the process._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____“I guess. But you can go first.” Catra gave her a toothy grin and Adora shrugged as she prepared her cup, they walked in sync to the counter and Catra moved the chair closer to Adora’s. Adora swallows the coffee as her eyes peek over the lip of the cup._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____“Hey.” Catra leans in close as she nearly whispers and Adora blinks a few times, her cheek dusted with a light pink and Catra brushes it off, convincing herself it’s cus the coffee was still hot. “I…” Catra swallows her pride, she wants to better for Adora, at least this one time, she wants to try. “Thanks for last night, I know I’ve been a pain in the ass.” Catra says as her hands ball in her lap._ _ _ _

____ _ _

____Adora places her hand on Catra’s shoulder, her thumb subconsciously stroking her skin.  
“You gave me food, I think we’re even.” Adora playfully winks at her and Catra can’t fight how her lips turn to the ceiling. Adora’s hand doesn't move as they look into each others eyes, Catra's heart twists in her chest and Adora seems to get closer and Catra’s mind panics. _ _ _ _

____ _ _

_____What is she doing? Does she...no there’s no way. We’re friends, she said so._ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______“Sorry.” Adora blurts as she creates a vault between them and her hand is gone. Catra hides the disappointment. “Staring again…” Adora gulps down the rest of her coffee, Catra’s cup was left untouched._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______“Stare if you want.” Catra pursed her lips, not wanting the words to be said out loud, but it was too late now. Adora brain froze, wondering if she heard her correctly. Adora pushes the cup aside and spins her body to fully face Catra._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______Catra stays still, only her profile visible to Adora, and her ears twitch as she tries to stop them from pressing back against her head._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______“Oh-”_ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______Adora jumps as a bowl crashes into the sink. Lonnie looks up at the town of them._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______“Sorry.” She says with a shrug as she walks back to the couch. Catra slowly drinks her coffee, ignoring Adora’s protruding gaze._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______What do I say to her? Do I say anything? She’s really staring now._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

______The words sprint in circles in Catras mind. Catra looks over at Adora who is smiling again as she rests her head in the palm of her hand, her eyes more awake and aware then they were before. Catra’s eyes flick down to Adora’s lips, and she licks her own, she was so close. Catra feels her heart kock against her sternum and her cheek heat up. Catra fights the reaction as she looks down at her cup._ _ _ _ _ _

______ _ _ _ _

_______What the fuck is that? ____ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Catra doesn’t read into the gesture as she tears open her book and gulps down the rest of her drink. Adora’s phone vibrates from where it rests, charging on the end of the counter. Adora reaches for it, a message appearing on the screen. Catra glances over, reading the name and baring her teeth._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Glimmer (8:45): Still down to hang? 12?_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Adora unlocks her phone to respond and she throws her phone on the counter, screen side up._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________“I'm going to shower.” Adora announces, mostly to herself and she sashays away. Catra watches her disappear into their room._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Glimmer (8:50): Cool, I’m excited!_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

________Catra flips the phone over and looks away, a pain begins to build in her temple and she presses her fingers into the spot. Catra distracts herself as she reads her book. Catra bears her teeth as the familiar feeling craws up from arm and she snarls as she shoves her hand under her leg, shifting her leg in hopes to smash the nerves. Catra forces her mind to obey and read the text rather than giving into the physical discomfit._ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

________ _ _ _ _ _ _

_________Damn. ____ _ _ _ _ _ _ _

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> p.s Sorry for the slow updates


	6. Where's my Mind

Adora waves as she enters the building and Glimmer stands from the table she had been waiting at. 

“Hey, how’s it going?” Glimmer greets and Adora walks with her to the line. 

“Pretty good. How are you?” Adora asks as her eyes scan the menu and Glimmer nods her head with a perky expression. 

“I’m also good, this is one of my favorite cafe’s.” Glimmer mentions as the two of them approach the cashier. Glimmer orders a drink and Adora orders a pastry. They sit at a table as they wait for their orders to be called. 

“Let’s go for a walk, this place is really pretty. Also there’s a pond with baby ducks.” Glimmer tells Adora as they grab their orders. Adora nods as she bites into her sugar filled pastry, her eyes fill with glitter as she holds the food close to her chest. 

“Wow, this is really good!” Adora speaks through a mouthful. Glimmer snickers at the youthful behavior and they start conversation as they walk the dirt path. 

It wasn't long before Adora's mind started to wonder each topic being her thoughts to Catra.  
“Bow, he’s a goober…” Adora chuckles softly. “Catra acts big and tough.” Adora mocks her muscles and then deflates. “But she’s really just a big mushy goober.” Glimmer laughs as she continues to talk and Adora gets caught in her imagination.

_Catra was so close to me this morning, I wonder what she wanted. Why does it make me so nervous? She is totally out of my league, she’s beautiful, she’s so smart-I mean I don’t have a crush. But if I wanted to I could’ve kis-_

“You ok, Adora?” Glimmer asks and Adora turns her head to her completely, despite the fact she couldn't see where they were going. 

“Yeah, why?” Adora cocks her head, her eyes giving her true nature away and she looks back to the path. 

“You just seem distracted is all.” Glimmer looks over at Adora who chews on the side of her lip, her eyes unfocused. “Is it about, Catra?” Glimmer asks in the most polite way possible but it still catches Adora off guard. 

“No!” Adora denies and one glimpse at Glimmer, she knew she was busted. “Maybe!” Adora stands up straighter and shoves her hand into the pockets of her jeans. “It’s about me too, though. I’ve just been thinking about it a lot recently.” Adora shifts her shoulders as she remembers how this morning whent. Catra would have spurts of energy and affection, but this morning felt...different. 

It felt as if Catra was trying to tell her something. 

"This morning she was different. In a good way, I think, and it just made me feel…something." Adora places one hand above her heart feeling it knocking against her bones as if it wanted to be set free. Glimmer smirked with a raised eyebrow.

“Something like a crush?” Amusement laced Glimmer words and Adora stiffened and then shook her head with a burst of laughter. 

“No way, besides...Catra’s out of my league, I mean yeah we’ve known each other a long time, but you’ve seen her. No way.” Adora shakes her finger ‘no’ and her head. “No way.” She repeated and Glimmer rolls her eyes. Adora was notorious for being headstrong and stubborn. 

“Ok.” Glimmer draws out through a lopsided grin and Adora punches her shoulder softly. 

“Don’t make it weird!” Adora can’t fight the laugh that creeps up on her and Glimmer raises her hands in defence. 

“I’m not saying anything! Ok?” Glimmer giggles as she rubs her arm dramatically and Adora sticks her tongue out at her. 

“Better not, cus you’ll pay if you dare to do so.” Adora speaks as she puffs out her chest and Glimmer gasps, covering her mouth.

“You would never!” Glimmer laughs and Adora shrugs with a nod. 

“Whatever, I’ll let you off the hook this time.” Adora winks at Glimmer who is far too amused for her liking. 

_Crush? Could Catra really have a crush on me?_

Adora shoves the thought away and focuses on the current moment. 

“Still haven’t seen any baby ducks.” Adora changes the subject and it works like a charm as Gimmer runs towards the pond.

\---  
Catra sits in her bedroom with her back against the headboard, the sunlight shining through the window as her eyes rolls over the words over and over again, her fingernails digging into her legs as her heartbeat rises. 

“Wha…?” Catra’s tongue is numb, forgetting to enunciate the last letter of the word and she shuts the book with a loud slap. 

“No, no...No way.” Catra talks to herself her head begins to spin and the blood pulses in her ear drums. Catra stands up holding her head in her hand as her breathing becomes louder, and she tries to focus on calming her nerves but her heart beats even louder. 

"Oh God…" Catra words are drunken as her eyes roll back, and her heart clogs her ears, her breath staggered as her knees weaken. Catra shakes herself from the daze, her eyes roll forward again but her vision is spotted. Catra's hand flops down to her side and she crumbles to her knees. 

"Oh no…" The words barely from as her eyes see her brain and everything is numb. Catra tries to real her conscious back, then like a switch everything is dark.

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

You should have known better.

\---------------------------------------------------

Catra's eyes fly open, her throat clogged as she chokes, desperate for air. Her vision is blurred as her muscles spasm and she rolls on her side like a fetus. She gags, her body jerking as it projects a dark substance, her hand locking into place as her body is paralyzed. Catra inhales sharply, coughing as the dark goop spears across the floor, Catra tries to regain control of her physical being as she blinks rapidly. Catra's eye prick with tears as her functioning hand press against her throat in pain. 

The substance begins to sleep into the floorboards but her damaged hand is limp, as Catra rolls onto all four, her vision coming into focus as she watches the black disappear into the ominous cracks. Catra's wide eyes stare down and she jolts as the sound of shattering glass comes from below her. Then everything is silent again, Catra's ears fly up to the ceiling, on edge as a new sound emerges for the hallway.

Catra swallows thickly, her throat still sore and dry, and she looks at her tingling hand and twists it by the wrist. Her breath jagged as she warms up the muscles, the pain subsiding.

This must be a good sign. It must be.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you for reading!  
> After centuries I updated lol


	7. If you Let me Inside (pt.1)

Adora snaps a picture of the baby ducks as they jump into the pond, a broad smile playing acorss her lips. Her eyes travel up to scan the sky, the sun begins to lower and she checks the time on her phone. Adora stands from the bench she and Glimmer sat on as she stretches her spine.

“I should get going, it’s about to get dark.” Adora says and Glimmer stands with her. “It was fun hanging out. Those baby ducks are pretty cute.” Adora giggles as she puts her phone into her back pocket.

"Ok, want me to walk you back?" Glimmer offers and Adora thinks for a moment before politely declining.

"That's alright, but thanks." Adora hugs Glimmer goodbye and makes her way to the apartment complex. 

The cool breeze grazes her skin as she ponders the conversations her and Catra would be having. 

_How do I bring it up? Just ask her if she likes me? Would that be weird?_

Adora thinks as she plays cenariors in her mind. How Catra could react? On one hand she could recreate Adora’s feelings. Then on another hand, she could not and would be weirded out by Adora's confession and then their years of friendship would be thrown out the window and Adora would have to live with the embarrassment until she gets over...whatever this non-crush thing is. 

"Shut up, calm down you stupid thing." Adora growls as she presses a hand over her heart and looks down at the ground. 

Adora fumbles with the keys and slowly creaks the door open, carefully scanning the living room. Adora was met with an empty room until her eyes landed on the orange light pouring out from their bedroom door. Adora walks slowly, pausing as she hears scuffling from the other side. A strange energy settles in the pit of her stomach, a different set of nerves course through her veins. Adora takes a deep breath pushing past the confusing emotions as she shoves the door open. 

Her eyes fall to Catra kneeling on the ground, her claws picking at the wooden ground as if secrets lay under. Adora's face screeches as she cautiously approaches her as she places a hand in her shoulder. Catra reacts suddenly as if Adora was made of fire. 

Catra flips around and remains crouched on the ground. Her frantic eyes stare up at Adora and she shoots to her feet without warning. Adora jolts back on instinct, she lowers her gaurde as her eyes fill with concern.

“Hey, you ok?” She asks as her eyebrows stitch together and Catra blinks and nods. 

“I’m good.” Catra tries to convince the both of them as her extended claws tap against the outside of her thighs. “You sure?” Adora speaks as Catra walks past Adora to sit on the bed. She shuffles to press her back against the headboard. Adora follows and places herself next to Catra, so close their shoulders almost touch. Catra nods her head, and Adora decides to accept the response. For now. Adora is close enough to see Catra's freckles and she squints, her eyes burning through Catra.

“How’s your hand?” Adora reaches for Catra’s hand, her fingertip grazing the top. Shivers run up Catra’s arm at the ghost touch. 

“It’s good.” Catra lets out a shaky breath, Adora’s fingers suddenly feel heavy. Catra’s jaw flexes, her mind running a marathon. Catra shifts abruptly, causing Adora’s to pull away. Catra plasters a large toothy grin. 

_I wish she would just tell me._

Adora thinks as a frown begins to form across her lips.

“How was...Glimmer?” Catra asks, her stomach tying into knots as she speaks. 

“She’s good, uhm…” Adora bites her lips, her eyes searching for Catra as she battles with her options. Catra stares at her intensely, as if she could see into Adora’s frazzled mind. Catra ears pivot to a more alert position and she cocks her head. 

“Are you ok?” Catra emphasizes as she pokes Adora’s shoulder, and Adora allows herself to be pushed mollydrawmitcaly, her throat dry and her heart pounding her ears. 

“Honestly, I’m kinda nervous.” Adora admits as she rubs the back of her neck, the room becomes small and full of lava. The heat surrounds her face and she averts her eyes. Catra backs away as she cocks and eyebrow. 

“Nervous? Why are you nervous?” Catra asks, fear hiding behind the question as she resists the urge to leap off the bed and pin herself to the wall. 

“I don’t know how to explain it.” Adora confesses as she runs the back of her neck. She bites the inside of her lips, searching for the right words, her hammering heart distracting her. 

"It's not bad, I just never felt like this before. Growing up, we never really talked about feelings, so I don't really know what I'm feeling." Adora laughs slightly to herself, the sound was comforting, calming Catra's nerves.

"Feels like there's butterflies in my stomach. Crazy butterflies that I can't control, and my heart is pounding. I've been nervous before but never like this…" 

Catra is silent for a moment, her mind processing the words. She represses her hope, of course Adora would never choose her. It can't be what it sounds like. 

"Do I make you feel that way?" Catra's voice is soft and low, and Adora looks at her, her eyes like the vast blue sky. She leans in closer, the words on the tip of her tongue.

"Hey!" A voice passed through the closed door with a knock. Catra ears pressed back as she bared her teeth.

"You in there, Catra?" Lonnie's words come again and Catra rolls her eyes. 

"Shit, sorry." Carta grumbles as she drops off of the mattress and opens the door. Lonnie hands her the old battered cover and Catra takes it slowly, her brows furrowed and head cocked to the side. 

“I tripped on that thing three times today, put it somewhere else.” Lonnie explains and Catra’s grip tightens against the covers. Lonnie's eyes wander behind Catra and meet Adora’s, a smirk creeps upon her lips and she wiggles her eyebrows at the two of them. 

“Oh ok. Gotcha, that’s my bad.” Lonie speaks as she backs up and Catra shakes her head.

“No-” Catra raises a stern finger and Lonnies shoots her a toothy grin.

“I’ll be on my way.” Lonnie gives a quick wink and disappears. Catra heart races, her hands become clammy as she throws the book onto her night stand. 

“Sorry about that.” Catra sheepishly says as she gently sets herself next to Adora again. “What were you saying?” she adds and Adora fidgets, her nerves clouding her mind. 

“N-never mind. I don’t remember anymore.” Adora chuckles softly and Catra’s ears pivot and she breaks eye contact and strains her mind for ideas.

“That’s fine. Hey, I have an idea.” Catra starts and Adora quirks an eyebrow. Catra ponders agian and taps her long claw against her skin, their eye meeting once again. 

“Let me make up for being an ass. We can do it tomorrow, after dinner.” Catra rambles, the words spilling almost too far and Adora blinks a few times.

“What’s the idea?” Adora asks as she leans in slightly, her eyes glistening as she looks at Catra as if she could read her mind. Catra swallows the bundle of nerves in her throat and shoves the urge to kiss Adora deep into the pit of her stomach.

“Can’t tell you. Just have to wait, it’s something you’ll like.” Catra’s tone softens at the end, a spark growing bright behind her eyes as a smile is painted across Adora’s perfect lips. 

“Oh, is that so?” Adora’s words flow smoothly through Catra’s ears and her tail swishes back and forth behind her as her eyes flick down to Adora’s lips but quickly realine with her gaze. 

“Yes.” Catra simply stakes as she presses a hand against Aaora's shoulder, creating more space. “You have class tomorrow. I don’t want you to be grumpy for our...thing.” Catra explains and Adora playfully rolls her eyes. 

“Ok mother. If you say so.” Adora jokes as she hops off the bed and walks into the bathroom to brush her teeth. Catra stays still for a few moments to catch her breath before she stands to retrieve her night clothes.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Forgive me and my tiny brain  
> Thank you for reading


	8. I won't hold back this Time

Adora enters the apartment and scans the empty room. She kicks off her shoes and sets her bag on the ground. Adora shrugs as she enters the kitchen to retrieve the box of cereal and a bowl. Adora picks up her phone, Rogelio and Kyle would still be at work, Lonnie’s classes ran late, but Catra should have been back an hour ago. Adora pours her chocolate cereal as she swipes her phone open and clicks Catra’s name. 

“Hey, Adora.” Catra answers, almost seeming out of breath. 

“Hey, I was just seeing if you were ok. Where are you?” Adora responds and there is a large amount of shuffling on the other end and then a loud thud, almost like a car door. 

“Yeah, I’m good I just got back. I’ll see you inside, ok?” Catra explains and Adora can hear her feet walking up the metal stairs. 

“Oh ok, see ya.” Adora says and Catra echos her before they hang up. Adora throws her bowls in the sink and walks over to the couch. 

The door noble wobbles before Catra enters and places her keys on the counter. Her heterochromatic eye search the room until they land on the back of Adora’s head. 

“Hey you.” Catra greets as she lungs over the back of the couch, careful not to spill the items in the bag and places herself next to Adora. 

“Hey.” Adora greets back with a smile and Catra places the bag on the large coffee table and starts to open it.

“Look, I got you some food from the Hawaina restaurant you like. I found some coupons, so don’t worry about the money.” Catra says as she takes the two take out boxes out of the bag. 

“Thanks, I can pay you back though, it’s not a problem.” Adora rebutts and Catra shakes her head as she hands Adora a fork and knife. 

“No, it’s my treat to you. Just buy me coffee sometime, that’ll do.” Catra gives Adora a broad smirk and a quick wink. Adora clutches the silverware in her hand as her heart jumps at the gesture. She licks her lips as she stares at Catra’s eyes. 

“Oh coffee? Like at a cafe? The one you like?” Adora lets out a nervous chuckle and Catra takes a bite of her food with a shrug. 

“Doesn’t matter to me.” Catra quirks an eyebrow at Adora who blinks a few times before she shakes herself from her daze and takes a bite of her. They eat in a comfortable silence for a few moments before Catra bumps her shoulder against Adora’s. 

“Are you ready for our adventure? You’ll love it.” Catra says as she gently socks Adora’s arm. 

“Oh really?” Adora says as she cocks her head. Catra smirks as she walks her fingers up Adora’s arm and playfully pokes her shoulder.

“What do ya say?” Catra pulls her hand back and offers it to Adora and nods and gives Catra’s hand a firm shake. “Deal.” Adora says and gasps, Catra continues to hold her hand as she stands and Adora quickly finds a stable footing.

“You have a deal.” Adora repeats as she gives a crooked grin and a finger gun in her free hand. 

“Good.” Catra smiles as she turns and walks to the coat rack Adora following closely behind her. 

“If you liked the woods, this place will blow your mind.” Catra explains as she slides her jacket over her shoulders and watches as Adora shoves her feet into her sneakers as Catra walks to stand in front of her. “Alright, you ready?” Catra asks as she places her hands against her hips and Adora rises to Catra’s level. 

“Yup!” Adora chirps through a smile and Catra returns the expression as they exit the building and walk down the stairs.

“So where are we going exactly?” Adora throws her voice down to Catra who leans her head back to glance at her partner. “A surprise, trust me, you’ll like it.” Catra leaps down the last two steps and twirls the keys on her finger as Adora rolls her eyes yet the happiness lingers in her chest. 

“Ok, I’ll take your word for it.” Adora giggles as she follows Catra to the vehicle where they secure themselves for the long ride. 

\--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------  
The sun begins to set as they drive up a dirt road, Adora gazes out the window in awe. Catra briefly looks over, an enormous expression painting across her face as Adora enjoys the surroundings. One they reach their destination Catra sets the car into park as Adora’s eyes relish in the beauty of the scenery. 

“Wow…” Adors breaths Catar watches her partner admire their surroundings, her heart aching with a bittersweet taste. Adora’s eyes capture the stars, the city lights far forget as they sit side by side in the darkest part of town. A place where everything was calm and the cold of the world was absent. Almost all of it, there was a rock that sat in the permanent hole in Catra’s heart and she couldn’t ignore the nagging feelings. 

But Adora...Adora made it easier. 

“Hey, Adora.” Catra begins and Adora looks over at her, the light from the sky shining in her eyes. 

“Yeah?” Adora’s smile lingers for a moment longer as Catra gathers her courage. 

“Thanks for coming with me...and uh…” Catra licks her lips as she pauses for a moment, her nerves jumping in her chest and stomach. “It means a lot to me.” She confesses as she rubs the back of her neck hoping it would sooth the guilt.

“Of course! Besides…” Adora places her hand against Catra's stiff shoulder, her eyes as soft as her touch. “I wanted to come with you.” Adora tells her through a shy smile which Catra returns.

“Yeah…” Catra’s voice floats in the air as she sighs, the stress in her shoulders deflating a bit. 

“What is it?” Adora asks, her eyes analyzing Catra's shifting expression. Catra shakes her head, wishing her convoluted thoughts would fall out in the process as she forces the best smile on her lips.

“Nothing…” Catra lies and she moves forward to lift the center console open. “Here, listen to this.” Catra murmurs as she pulls a cassette tape from its case and inserts it into the player. 

“What is it?” Adora cocks her head and Catra presses start, a smirk playing on her lips.

“It's music.” She simply says and Adora nods as she focuses on the instruments coming into play.

“I like this.” Adora’s voice is almost completely covered by the soft sounds. 

“Me too.” Catra speaks about more than the music, Adora was a drug that kept her mind at ease. Despite the belittling words from their peers, Adora was the one to lift her back up. She still remained by Catra to prove the others were wrong.

“No, I mean I like this.” Adora emphasized as she gestured towards Catra and the art beyond the car window. Catra’s words are caught in her throat as she fights the emotions flooding her vision. 

“So do I.” Catra’s voice wavers and she hopes it was masked by the background sounds. 

_I don’t deserve this…_

A small voice echoed in the back of Carta’s mind as Adora is quiet and smiling longingly. Catra’s eyes fall along as the silence grows, the tension shifting as the air becomes stale and cold as the music fades in and out. The static of the lack of voice seeping into the stereo. The tape groans as it jerks in the slot and spits out it’s inside, causing the two to flinch at the sudden burst of sound. 

“What the hell?” Catra mutters through her bared teeth as she jams the palm of her hand into the tape, as if it were a shock wave. 

“The fuck?!” Adora’s voice and strong language caught Catra’s attention. Catra lenas over the center console, her eyes worried as they look at Adora

“What- Oh shit!” Catra’s flies back, her head hitting the back of her seat as she is met with a large creature sprawled across the windshield. It’s four arm like limbs spread out as it’s claw like fingers rack against the glass. 

“Don’t move.” Catra’s words rush out as the creature opens its mouth, exposing it’s rows of sharp teeth. Adora’s eyes are the size of the moon as she looks back at Catra.

Catra leaps to the trunk and retrieves a Kantan, Adora gawks at the sword, before Catra bursts out of the back door. The creature's attention is drilled into Catra, it’s head turning as it scrambles off the hood, leaving a dark trail as its mouth unhinged, charging at Catra. 

“Fuck off!” Catra spits as she swings the exposed blade at the creature who swerves the attack, the blade grazing it’s side. 

“What is that?” Adora screeches as she comes charging with a hammer. The creature flips around to where the sound emerged from. It stares at Adora giving a proud roar before it turns back around to Catra who jabs the blade into the creature's center. 

“Get back in the car. You’re going to get hurt!” Cattra demands, but even on the brink of death Adora is headstrong and stubborn. Adora wings the hammer at the creature as Catra pulls the blade back and prepares for another blow. 

“I don’t think so. You are not doing this alone.” Adora breathlessly rebutts and she recoils her arms for another blow, but the creature is quicker as its mouth clamps down on Adora’s wrist, causing the hammer to plummet to the dirt. Adora exclaims in pain as she flais from it’s jaw, the blood rolling down her arm.

“Adora!” Catra wiles as a fire ignites in her chest and she surges the blade into the create again, she twists the blade like a screw in the creatre. Adora hisse as she applies pressure to the wound, the red dripping to the ground. 

Catra curses the creature as her sharp sword repetitively sinks it to the surface of the creature. The creature screams and gnashes it’s teeth as it leaps knot Catra’s body, pinning her to the ground. The sward skidding on the dirt but Catra swipes it before it is too far from her grasp.

“I’m sorry, Adora! This is my fault!” Catra projects her voice as she wrestles with the demon and Adora reaches for the hammer again but the demon is quick to kick from her grasp. Adora flails her wrist in pain as she stumbles backward. Catra grunts as she fubles it the sword, tring to get a better angle for attack.

“No, don’t say that-” Adora gaps as she regains her footing, her hand flies back to apply pressure on the wounds, the bleeding slowed but not stopped. Catras managed to sink the blade into thwart appears to be the creatures shoulder.

“It’s true! If i was honest this could all be avoided, and now you’re hurt!” Catra’s voice cracks as tears stream down her face and she swings her fist at the creature's jaw. The creator wails as it clenches it’s jaw down on the air.

“What are you talking about?” Adora huffs as she swings her foot at the creature, though it is vain as she growls in pain, feeling as if she hit a wall of bricks. Adora hobbles back, her body aching, Catra pulls the sword back against, getting a better, aim at the opening of its mouth, her hands shaking as she prepares to strike.

“I was jealous, ok? I should have told you but I ran away like I alway do!” Catra confessed as the ward sliced through the creature's head. The creature's body sizes, giving Catra’s an opportunity to jerk her hip up, and pint the creature to the dirt.

“I never wanted to hurt you and look…” Catra stabs the creature center. "What…” She stabs again, anywhere she doesn’t care. “I’ve…” She aims for the center of its mouth. “Done!” Her vocal cords strain under the pressure as the blade crack through the creature's head and into the ground. It gives this last frew shreeks before bursting into black goop and a pile of sharp teeth. 

Catra’s breath is jagged as she freezes with the blade sunk into the ground, surrounded but the black drenched dirt. Adora stands like stone as she watches Catra’s arms shake as the tear continues to roll down her features. 

“Catra?” Adora voice cracks, almost inaudible and Catra takes in a cold breath through her nose before she removes the blade from the ground, she takes one of the teeth and shakoves it into her pants before she hobbles to her feet. She drags herself towards Adora as she runs a hand down her dirty face, and flicks the dark droplets to the ground. 

“Good.” Catra sniffles as she wipes her hair from her eyes as her gaze waders across the ground. “That was a bitch.” She grumbles and then points at Adora, her eyes are disnat as he speaks again. 

“We need to get some bandages for you.” Catra walks past Adora and waves her hand in a motion for Adora to follow, which she does. ADora cradles her injured wrist to her chest as she walks back Catra’s side.

“That was insane.” Adora declares with wide eyes and Catra keeps her gaze fixated on the car. Catra huffs as she swings the back car door open. SHe retrieves a first aid kit as she tosses the sword onto the ground.

“Sit down.” Catra’s words were short but there is a sense of tenderness beneath her short temper. Adora places herself in the back seat Catra doesn't say much else as she tenderly takes Ardora's hand, rolls up her sleeve and begins to care for the wound.

“Ouch.” Adora hisses quietly as Catra cleans the punctures. “I’m sorry.” Catra whispers as she grabs a large pad and some gauze. “This will help. I’m really sorry this happened to you.” Catra apologises again as she wraps the gauze around Adora’s arm. Catra’s hands shake as the rips the end and scures it. 

“I’m just glad you’re ok.” Adora says as she turns her hand over and gently wraps her fingers around Catra’s hand. Catra’s heart leaps into her throat, Adora’s hands were soft despite benign cover in dirt. 

“I…” Catra’s voice is caught in her throat and she licks her dry lips. “We...we should get back soon, Rogelio can check on your wrist.” Catra explains and Adora slides her hands from Catra’s.

“I guess so.” Adora sighs with a shrug as she crawls back to the passenger seat, Catra watches her as she stys kneeled down for a few extra seconds before hse opens the drivers door. Adora laces her fingers in her lap as Catra, places herself in the driver's seat. She puts the keyes in the ignition but doesn’t start the car yet. 

Catra flexes her jaw, the thoughts running through her head, yet the silence was deafening. Catra jingles the keys in her hand as she takes in a struddred breath. 

"Guess we should call Rogelio. Can't really see out the window." Catra talks mostly to herself as she takes out her phone. She hangs up once she's explained their situation.

"Hey." Catra's voice wavers as she turns to Arora and gently puts a hand on Adora's shoulder. Adora looks over at her, Catra's eyes uncertain as she looks back. 

"I'll explain everything when we get back. Ok?" Catra's tells her and Adora gives her a small smile and nod.


End file.
